I was walking across a bridge one day and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said:
“Stop! Don’t do it!”
“Why shouldn’t I?” he said.
“Well, there is so much to live for.”
“Like what?”
“Well, are you religious?”
He said yes.
I said, “Me too! Are you Christian?”
“Christian.”
“Me too! Are you Lutheran, Catholic or Protestant?”
“Protestant.”
“Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?”
“Baptist.”
“Wow, me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?”
“Baptist Church of the Lord.”
“Me too! Are you Original Baptist Church of the Lord or are you Reformed Baptist Church of the Lord?”
“Reformed Baptist Church of the Lord.”
“Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of the Lord, reformation of 1879, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of the Lord, reformation of 1915?”
He said, “Reformed Baptist Church of the Lord, reformation of 1879.”
I said, “Die, heretic,” and pushed him off.
-Emo Philips, via Homebrewed Theology.
